Monday, August 23, 2010

a contemplation

Sometimes things do not always seem the same when viewed from different angles. I took care of a gentleman Sunday afternoon who arrived with the desire to quit drinking and was “sick and tired of being sick and tired”. He did not appear to be an uneducated man nor did he seem na├»ve about alcohol and the effects of abuse. The contrary revealed a respectable man with a strong desire, yet unknowing determination to put forth efforts of obtaining sobriety through a plan. The obstacle was not having a plan. He stated attending AA in the past and although he indeed had a sponsor, the program did not work because of his failed desire to make it work. This time was different.

The man did not seem to have “lost it all” nor did he appear to be insane. He just showed concern that his life needed a turn around and the arrival of age 50 was proving wrong his previous theory of being unique. There was not a quality in him he stated that was any different from others who have sworn to stop drinking yet could not. The similarities of alcoholics remain consistent in that respect I guess. He concurred.

As I continued to watch his mannerisms and lack of contact during our conversation, it occurred to me this problem can hit anyone and alcohol may not be the source for everyone. Suddenly, I was looking 18 years ahead and envisioned a broke down me sitting there contemplating life and wondering where did it go. What happened to my health? Where did my race times go? How did I let my prime pass me by? How come I did not see all the warning signs? I too am unique right? Maybe alcohol has not affected my life to the extent of his, but something can be said for a sneak peak of a road anxiously traveled. This was a turn not to be made. Although alcohol may not be the source problem for myself, the worries that impede on the enjoyment of everyday life are. The worry of retirement, raising respectable children, and choosing the right career choices top the list. This seems a slippery slope in need of caution. Never before did these seem to matter. Upon reaching the age of 50, I would like to resemble a unique quality unlike this gentleman; being content and confident. For that, I thank this man. And for that, I choose to run.

P.S. I pulled my low back cross training last week and running has been minimal for the last 7 days thus the philosophical post!

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